LOST

LOST (and not found, probably)

I’m not quite sure when it happened or why, but I do know that my mum became really angry with me, like never before. Please understand me, I know, that carrying my good person with which I was born, I am not capable of doing anything so wrong to deserve more than a furious look – and in fact, not even that. Aware of this, I can easily conclude that my parents have made some major mistakes in the past ten or so years. There were no physical punishments, perhaps a pull on the hair or a slap, but this was different. I had never experienced such rage from my mother, the threats including discarding me to a foster home. That evening I was devastated, completely. The fight might have lasted for hours, or at least it felt so. Then I could stand it no longer.

I dashed up to my room and slammed the door shut. I had one idea, one goal even. Soon I went to the dark little storage room to fetch a big green suitcase. I stuffed some clothes, and dearest belongings into it. The bag was full. In my pocket I had my savings. I lifted the bag – it was so heavy. Now I was ready, ready to run away from home...

Just letting you know, my apartment is at the very base of the building, opening up into the garden, so I needed to climb up to stories to get out. It was hard with the heavy suitcase, but I had the power of will on my side. I crept out of the apartment...

As soon as I found myself at the top of the stairs, I opened the building’s front door. The air was cold, for it was end of November. The street light was flickering, it was only a matter of minutes before it would go out. I stared into the darkness of the night. Here or there a car would drive past, but all in all I felt alone. The feeling of emptiness was devouring me. Minutes passed by, and still my mind was blank. Suddenly, like sparks in the night, thoughts struck my head. What would I, a mere child do alone in this big cruel world? Where would I go? Was there any future for me? Then I turned around and headed... – Well you can guess where... Yet somehow, I still haven’t found myself.